but who the fuck eats only a small handful of almonds
That’s like when they recommend eating 1 or 2 squares of chocolate as a serving.
Like… if you have that kind of self control, great, but personally once I open a chocolate bar there’s a 99% chance I’m gonna finish it in one sitting. Maybe I’ll save half for later. But 1 or 2 squares ain’t happening.
right?? screw that! I count my calories religiously, but if I’m gonna eat a chocolate bar, I had better have 300+ in reserve because fuck you, Lindt, I am eating ALL of that.
I would also say “WHO WEIGHS THEIR BEEF JERKY??” but if I ate beef jerky, I would. I totally would. I love my kitchen scale so much. I am a problem.
And then on the other side of the equation, they don’t give ANY recommended serving for the baby carrots or the string cheese.
You can apparently eat as many baby carrots or skim mozzarella string cheeses as you want, and it will ALWAYS be under 100 calories. MAGIC.
I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING
THERE ARE ROUGHLY 35 CALORIES IN 100G OF BABY CARROTS
THAT IS ABOUT 3 CALORIES A CARROT
I KNOW THESE NUMBERS BECAUSE WHY YES, I CAN EAT 33 BABY CARROTS AT A HUNDRED CALS A POP IN A SINGLE SITTING
BECAUSE I AM A MACHINE FOR EATING
(incidentally, this is why paleo and keto and shit piss me off. “eat within these parameters, don’t count calories, you’ll definitely lose weight!!” fuck you. it’s super, super easy to overeat on proteins and fats, and encouraging an eat-all-you-want mentality isn’t healthy or helpful, and does more harm than any good the fad diets could offer. and that’s what they are, mark my words. quality of calorie matters, of course it does, but it doesn’t mean 500 calories of almonds will be any better for weight loss than 500 calories of skittles. I really have a problem with the dissemination of faulty nutritional education.)
TRUFACT: I went through a phase where I was eating so many baby carrots that I LITERALLY STARTED TO TURN ORANGE. (Because yes, that is a thing that can happen.) So BELIEVE me, I know it’s possible to eat a whole dang lot of carrots in one sitting. :-P
(Honestly, I can still polish off far more at one go than is probably healthy, but luckily my skin behaves itself nowadays.)