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It's Only the End if You Want it to Be

Apr 7 '14
renaroo:


Nightwing: Old Friends, New EnemiesAction Comics (1938-2011) #614

"Gas pumped in… God! Sometimes I can’t believe what people will do." 
I… this was the best post I’ve made today. I’ll admit it fully.
Dick’s just so disgusted at that showerhead, too. Like tone it down, bro! Chill!

I have to admit, I can’t find this remotely funny because the first thing the gas shower made me think of was the Holocaust. Because that’s exactly what the Nazis did - when the “undesirables” (Jews, Roma, etc.) first arrived at the death camps, they were told to undress so that they could “shower”, but were actually locked into gas chambers to be killed. (You can read more about Nazi use of gas chambers here.)
If Romani!Dick had already been canon by this point, actually, I’d say the expression on his face is because he’s thinking about how many of his people died exactly that way. That’s obviously not what the writers were thinking when they wrote this scene. But it does bring up an interesting point - people often say that Dick’s ethnicity doesn’t add anything to the story besides cliched stereotypes about the Romani people. But I think this is an example of how Dick’s ethnicity could be used to add so much nuance to the story - if you read his character as Romani, the way you understand this scene changes completely.

renaroo:

Nightwing: Old Friends, New Enemies
Action Comics
(1938-2011) #614

"Gas pumped in… God! Sometimes I can’t believe what people will do."

I… this was the best post I’ve made today. I’ll admit it fully.

Dick’s just so disgusted at that showerhead, too. Like tone it down, bro! Chill!

I have to admit, I can’t find this remotely funny because the first thing the gas shower made me think of was the Holocaust. Because that’s exactly what the Nazis did - when the “undesirables” (Jews, Roma, etc.) first arrived at the death camps, they were told to undress so that they could “shower”, but were actually locked into gas chambers to be killed. (You can read more about Nazi use of gas chambers here.)

If Romani!Dick had already been canon by this point, actually, I’d say the expression on his face is because he’s thinking about how many of his people died exactly that way. That’s obviously not what the writers were thinking when they wrote this scene. But it does bring up an interesting point - people often say that Dick’s ethnicity doesn’t add anything to the story besides cliched stereotypes about the Romani people. But I think this is an example of how Dick’s ethnicity could be used to add so much nuance to the story - if you read his character as Romani, the way you understand this scene changes completely.

Apr 1 '14

Did you guys know that I currently have 2,960 messages in my Inbox.

Apr 1 '14

So much for fun April Fool’s day posts, I guess.

Apr 1 '14

I should change my username to dickgraysonisawomanizer for the day or something.

Apr 1 '14

legereamo asked:

Hi! I remember reading in an ask that you find codependency interesting in fiction. Do you have any favorite ships / examples? I'd love to try reading / watching something with a codependent ship (or platonic ship), and I seem to have similar taste to you in terms of books and shows. :)

minuiko:

Hope you don’t mind me publishing! Codependency tends to be unhealthy and destructive irl but I’m a total sucker for it in fiction, haha, especially since at its heart it’s all about mutual devotion (one-sided dependency tends to be more disturbing because there isn’t that same trust and reciprocation and understanding). I’m using the TvTropes definition here, btw. Examples would be… Sherlock and Watson (in literally any SH-derivative series), as well as sibling ships like the Elric brothers from FMA (Mustang and Hawkeye count as codependent too - one refuses to live without the other), the di Angelo siblings from PJO (more one-sided on Nico’s part, though), the Winchester brothers from SPN, Eren and Mikasa from SNK, Simon and River Tam from Firefly. There’s been some debate about Percabeth being codependent, and I think they absolutely are (Percy a little more so than Annabeth). They have no qualms about dying for each other, or killing for each other. If anything poses the slightest threat to Annabeth, Percy has zero remorse (and even takes pleasure) in eliminating that threat - if it means protecting her, he will let the rest of the world burn. When they’re apart all they can think about is getting back to one another. Annabeth is literally Percy’s tie to life when he bathes in the River Styx. Annabeth is very possessive and jealous when it comes to Percy, as well - she even says he’s the most important thing to her in the world. I don’t consider it a destructive relationship - they clearly respect and understand one another - but I definitely consider it codependent.

… Yo, being mutually dependent is 100% not the actual meaning of ‘codependency’, though.

And using a TV Tropes article (which is not even explicitly describing codependency) as your definition of an actual psychological condition is probably gonna lead to some mistakes, so let’s clear a few things up here.

First of all, despite what the name implies, ‘codependent’ relationships do not usually involve two people who are equally dependent on one another. Codependency is NOT “all about mutual devotion”. If it was about mutual devotion, that would be a much healthier thing.

In fact, ‘codependency’ usually describes a situation where only one person in a relationship is ‘codependent’, meaning that they are emotionally and psychologically dependent on another person beyond the norm in a healthy relationship, have lost their sense of themselves as an individual person, and only prioritize caring for another person and enabling that person’s dysfunction. ‘Codependency’ was originally coined to describe people in relationships with alcoholics and how they acted as enablers to the alcoholic in question. The definition has since been expanded to describe people in relationships with narcissists, addicts, or people with other dysfunctional conditions. Often the non-codependent person in a relationship encourages the codependent’s behavior by being controlling, manipulative, or abusive.

Here is the basic Wikipedia definition of ‘codependency’:

Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another.[1] It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.[2] Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships.[2] Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, or control patterns.[2]Narcissists are considered to be natural magnets for the codependent.”

Notice how what they’re describing is completely one-sided and has nothing at all to do with “mutual devotion”?

Now, Wikipedia on its own is not a reliable source, so here is a definition from an article from Psychology Today:

"Codependent relationships are close relationships where much of the love and intimacy in the relationship is experienced in the context of one person’s distress and the other’s rescuing or enabling. The helper shows love primarily through the provision of assistance and the other feels loved primarily when they receive assistance. The intense shared experiences of the other’s struggles and disasters and the helper’s rescues deepen the emotional connection and feelings of intimacy.

In the codependent relationship, the helper’s emotional enmeshment leads them to keenly feel the other’s struggles and to feel guilt at the thought of limiting their help or terminating the relationship. This motivates them to reduce the other’s suffering (and their own) by continued helping and makes them quick to back off of any limits they set.

Helpers prone to codependent relationships often find intimacy in relationships where their primary role is that of rescuer, supporter, and confidante. These helpers are often dependent on the other’s poor functioning to satisfy emotional needs such as the need to feel needed, and the need to keep the other close due to fears of abandonment. Feeling competent (relative to the other) also boosts the low self-esteem of some helpers.

In the codependent relationship, the other’s dependence on the helper is also profound. The other is bound to the helper because the helper’s lengthy aid has impeded their maturity, life skills, or confidence, or enabled their addiction, or poor mental or physical health, making them dependent on the helper’s assistance. Their poor functioning brings them needed love, care, and concern from the helper, further reducing their motivation to change.”

Again, note how the relationship described is explicitly an imbalanced one. One person is obsessed with caring for and enabling the other, while the other person is always on the receiving end of their attention.

Now, note that I am just a lowly Psych student and by no means an expert in codependency, but I think I’ve at least helped paint a somewhat more accurate picture of it here.

Stop defining codependency as mutual dependence. That is a completely incorrect definition, and furthermore encourages the idea that it’s unhealthy to have a mutually supportive relationship with another person, which is completely untrue. Humans need emotional and psychological support from other people. We all do. No matter how ‘independent’ you are. Promoting the idea that it’s dysfunctional to get emotionally attached to someone or want to help them and protect them or even consider them the most important part of your life is wrong and it is doing nothing but creating confusion about what unhealthy relationships actually are.

Two people mutually depending on each other for love and emotional support is completely fine, as long as they still have a strong sense of themselves as individuals and are able to establish boundaries. That is not codependency. That’s just called ‘having a relationship’.

Please do not try to classify couples as ‘codependent’ without having a clearer understanding of what the condition actually is.

Mar 30 '14
timmykittycat1:

Damian teaching Cass how to eat Oreo’s… Yep, just another normal day at Wayne Manor xD

Full comic is here, and it’s by the vary talented emvie.
Please do not repost other people’s art, especially without giving them credit.
Instead of reblogging this, please go and check out the original artist’s post, since (a) the artist deserves credit for their work, and (b) this is just one panel of a longer comic, so why not go see the whole thing?

timmykittycat1:

Damian teaching Cass how to eat Oreo’s… Yep, just another normal day at Wayne Manor xD

Full comic is here, and it’s by the vary talented emvie.

Please do not repost other people’s art, especially without giving them credit.

Instead of reblogging this, please go and check out the original artist’s post, since (a) the artist deserves credit for their work, and (b) this is just one panel of a longer comic, so why not go see the whole thing?

Mar 28 '14

marykatewiles:

                   ”Stories have ends, but life… it just keeps going. You fall, and you fly.”

Thank you so much beautiful emmsroberts! I love all the things you make! 

(Source: emmsroberts)

Mar 27 '14

dickie-grayson:

—nightwing #80

#how are you surprised when people figure out your identity?

To be fair, what people tend to overlook with scenes like this is that the fact that Dick used to be a circus acrobat isn’t part of his secret identity, it’s part of his regular identity as Dick Grayson. So it’s not like he’s actually giving away some huge secret by demonstrating that he can do some impressive flips.

(Source: falling-serenity)

Mar 27 '14
kristinscottthomas:

Twice as Nice : a series of gorgeous actresses meeting each other

7/? || Emma Thompson and Julie Andrews


It’s P.L. Travers and Mary Poppins! ;-)

kristinscottthomas:

Twice as Nice : a series of gorgeous actresses meeting each other

7/? || Emma Thompson and Julie Andrews

It’s P.L. Travers and Mary Poppins! ;-)

Mar 27 '14

atopfourthwall:

coelasquid:

stardusted:

Aussie Builders surprise public with loud empowering statements in new Snickers Australia Ad.

I wonder how many people actually bothered watching the ad

image

image

Eat snickers, prevent yourself from unwittingly respecting women.

I prefer to think it’s actually the opposite of the implication here, that eating Snickers makes you less sexist.

Mar 27 '14
phardil:

askbatsy:

Ladies and gentlemen… The Ask-box is OPEN.

Go ahead, don’t be shy. Ask him something. ♥

phardil:

askbatsy:

Ladies and gentlemen… The Ask-box is OPEN.

Go ahead, don’t be shy. Ask him something.

Mar 27 '14
fuckyeahwarriorwomen:

shadesofnerdness:


The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch 
published: May 1, 1980
““Elizabeth was a beautiful princess. She lived in a castle and had expensive princess clothes. She was going to marry a prince named Ronald.
Unfortunately, a dragon smashed her castle, burned all her clothes with his fiery breath, and carried off Prince Ronald.
Elizabeth decided to chase the dragon and get Ronald back. She looked everywhere for something to wear, but the only thing she could find that was not burnt was a paper bag. So she put on the paper bag and followed the dragon. He was easy to follow, because he left a trail of burnt forests and horses’ bones.
Finally, Elizabeth came to a cave with a large door that had a huge knocker on it. She took hold of the knocker and banged on the door. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Well, a princess! I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” He slammed the door so fast that Elizabeth almost got her nose caught.
Elizabeth grabbed the knocker and banged on the door again. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Go away. I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” “Wait,” shouted Elizabeth. “Is it true that you are the smartest and fiercest dragon in the whole world?” “Yes,” said the dragon.
“Is it true,” said Elizabeth, “that you can burn up ten forests with your fiery breath?” “Oh, yes,” said the dragon, and he took a huge, deep breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up fifty forests.
“Fantastic,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up one hundred forests. “Magnificent,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath, but this time nothing came out. The dragon didn’t even have enough fire left to cook a meatball.
Elizabeth said, “Dragon, is it true that you can fly around the world in just ten seconds?” “Why, yes,” said the dragon, and jumped up and flew all the way around the world in just ten seconds. He was very tired when he got back, but Elizabeth shouted, “Fantastic, do it again!”
So the dragon jumped up and flew around the whole world in just twenty seconds. When he got back he was too tired to talk, and he lay down and went straight to sleep.
Elizabeth whispered, very softly, “Hey, dragon.” The dragon didn’t move at all. She lifted up the dragon’s ear and put her head right inside. She shouted as loud as she could, “Hey dragon!” The dragon was so tired he didn’t even move.
Elizabeth walked right over the dragon and opened the door to the cave. There was Prince Ronald. He looked at her and said, “Elizabeth, you are a mess! You smell like ashes, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag. Come back when you are dressed like a real princess.”
“Ronald,” said Elizabeth, “your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat. You look like a real prince, but you are a bum.”
They didn’t get married after all.””

"This story is a success because it is real. There are no princes but there are a lot of bums, and you don’t want to marry one." 
-Robert Munch 

I remember this from when I was a kid and my sister brought this through the utterly fantastic Scholastic Book Club

THIS BOOK WAS ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES AS A KID OMG
And even then I knew I liked Elizabeth because she was smart and strong and she didn’t need to end up with the guy who was a jerk.
But it’s only now that I really appreciate how RARE this message is. Elizabeth doesn’t have time to be making herself pretty, not because there’s anything wrong with making yourself look pretty - and under different circumstances she wouldn’t, of course, have been wearing a paper bag - but because she’s too busy surviving and saving the day. And instead of realizing how goddamn lucky he is to have a fiance who’s not only resourceful, brave enough to face down a dragon, and intelligent enough to defeat said dragon without a single weapon, but also cares about him enough to go track him down and risk her own life by going up against the said dragon for his sake - instead of appreciating her for all of this like he should, Ronald judges her for not looking pretty enough while she does it.
This happens all the time in real life. It doesn’t matter how many great qualities a woman (or anyone, but I do think women often get the worst of it) may have, how smart or brave or loyal she is, there are always going to be people who judge them based solely on their appearance. And very often, the women themselves start buying into it, especially when they want to impress someone like Ronald - someone who’s handsome, and well-dressed, and has money/social status. In reality, someone that shallow and judgmental is the last kind of person anyone should want to be with, but very often women feel like what matters is getting someone who looks good “on paper”.
But Elizabeth doesn’t stand for any of this. She recognizes that it doesn’t matter that Ronald is handsome and well-dressed and a prince, the fact that he’s being a judgmental jerk after what she just did for him makes him the worst kind of bum. She recognizes that she deserves better. And she walks off without a second thought, because he’s just proved that he’s not worth another second of her time.
And the story ends with telling us that they didn’t get married. We don’t find out what happens after. We don’t find out if Elizabeth ever met another guy who appreciated her better or if she ever married someone else, because that’s not relevant and a happy ending doesn’t need to mean a marriage. The happy ending here is that she got away from a destructive relationship with a jerk who didn’t appreciate her, and that is a happy ending regardless of whether she ever ended up with someone else.
I mean… WOW. Isn’t that a message every little girl should get, growing up?!

fuckyeahwarriorwomen:

shadesofnerdness:

The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch 

published: May 1, 1980

““Elizabeth was a beautiful princess. She lived in a castle and had expensive princess clothes. She was going to marry a prince named Ronald.

Unfortunately, a dragon smashed her castle, burned all her clothes with his fiery breath, and carried off Prince Ronald.

Elizabeth decided to chase the dragon and get Ronald back. She looked everywhere for something to wear, but the only thing she could find that was not burnt was a paper bag. So she put on the paper bag and followed the dragon. He was easy to follow, because he left a trail of burnt forests and horses’ bones.

Finally, Elizabeth came to a cave with a large door that had a huge knocker on it. She took hold of the knocker and banged on the door. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Well, a princess! I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” He slammed the door so fast that Elizabeth almost got her nose caught.

Elizabeth grabbed the knocker and banged on the door again. The dragon stuck his nose out of the door and said, “Go away. I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow.” “Wait,” shouted Elizabeth. “Is it true that you are the smartest and fiercest dragon in the whole world?” “Yes,” said the dragon.

“Is it true,” said Elizabeth, “that you can burn up ten forests with your fiery breath?” “Oh, yes,” said the dragon, and he took a huge, deep breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up fifty forests.

“Fantastic,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath and breathed out so much fire that he burnt up one hundred forests. “Magnificent,” said Elizabeth, and the dragon took another huge breath, but this time nothing came out. The dragon didn’t even have enough fire left to cook a meatball.

Elizabeth said, “Dragon, is it true that you can fly around the world in just ten seconds?” “Why, yes,” said the dragon, and jumped up and flew all the way around the world in just ten seconds. He was very tired when he got back, but Elizabeth shouted, “Fantastic, do it again!”

So the dragon jumped up and flew around the whole world in just twenty seconds. When he got back he was too tired to talk, and he lay down and went straight to sleep.

Elizabeth whispered, very softly, “Hey, dragon.” The dragon didn’t move at all. She lifted up the dragon’s ear and put her head right inside. She shouted as loud as she could, “Hey dragon!” The dragon was so tired he didn’t even move.

Elizabeth walked right over the dragon and opened the door to the cave. There was Prince Ronald. He looked at her and said, “Elizabeth, you are a mess! You smell like ashes, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag. Come back when you are dressed like a real princess.”

“Ronald,” said Elizabeth, “your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat. You look like a real prince, but you are a bum.”

They didn’t get married after all.””

"This story is a success because it is real. There are no princes but there are a lot of bums, and you don’t want to marry one."

-Robert Munch 

I remember this from when I was a kid and my sister brought this through the utterly fantastic Scholastic Book Club

THIS BOOK WAS ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES AS A KID OMG

And even then I knew I liked Elizabeth because she was smart and strong and she didn’t need to end up with the guy who was a jerk.

But it’s only now that I really appreciate how RARE this message is. Elizabeth doesn’t have time to be making herself pretty, not because there’s anything wrong with making yourself look pretty - and under different circumstances she wouldn’t, of course, have been wearing a paper bag - but because she’s too busy surviving and saving the day. And instead of realizing how goddamn lucky he is to have a fiance who’s not only resourceful, brave enough to face down a dragon, and intelligent enough to defeat said dragon without a single weapon, but also cares about him enough to go track him down and risk her own life by going up against the said dragon for his sake - instead of appreciating her for all of this like he should, Ronald judges her for not looking pretty enough while she does it.

This happens all the time in real life. It doesn’t matter how many great qualities a woman (or anyone, but I do think women often get the worst of it) may have, how smart or brave or loyal she is, there are always going to be people who judge them based solely on their appearance. And very often, the women themselves start buying into it, especially when they want to impress someone like Ronald - someone who’s handsome, and well-dressed, and has money/social status. In reality, someone that shallow and judgmental is the last kind of person anyone should want to be with, but very often women feel like what matters is getting someone who looks good “on paper”.

But Elizabeth doesn’t stand for any of this. She recognizes that it doesn’t matter that Ronald is handsome and well-dressed and a prince, the fact that he’s being a judgmental jerk after what she just did for him makes him the worst kind of bum. She recognizes that she deserves better. And she walks off without a second thought, because he’s just proved that he’s not worth another second of her time.

And the story ends with telling us that they didn’t get married. We don’t find out what happens after. We don’t find out if Elizabeth ever met another guy who appreciated her better or if she ever married someone else, because that’s not relevant and a happy ending doesn’t need to mean a marriage. The happy ending here is that she got away from a destructive relationship with a jerk who didn’t appreciate her, and that is a happy ending regardless of whether she ever ended up with someone else.

I mean… WOW. Isn’t that a message every little girl should get, growing up?!

Mar 27 '14
thegreycatsby:

nudiemuse:

sweetliest:

sarahisalright:

astaraelweeps:

parisianinsomnia:

astaraelweeps:

lesenfantsdabraham:

What’s the point of that post though ?
"Oh Jewish women, Muslim women and Christin women have to pray? Wow so sad.”

yes that is literally all we do
i do nothing but sternly stare into space and clutch my rosary
there is literally nothing else in my life

Only atheists can wear green.

religious women don’t go outside
the sun is fatal to us

atheists can fly

green is not a creationist color

Only atheist women can look up.

green is not a creationist color

As a Jewish woman, I can verify that we do, in fact, do nothing but stand in front of Shabbos candles 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even though Shabbos only comes once a week and it only takes like a minute to light some candles. We still have to stand in front of them in that exact position, with our fingers pressed to our lips, because if we move, God will damn us to Hell forever. Even though we don’t believe in eternal damnation.
When the candles go out, we are allowed to re-light them, but after that we have to resume our positions and stay in place. We sleep standing up in front of candles. We have to be spoon-fed our meals standing in front of those candles. We don’t even have relationships with friends, or family, or romantic partners, because our entire life is those candles, clearly.

thegreycatsby:

nudiemuse:

sweetliest:

sarahisalright:

astaraelweeps:

parisianinsomnia:

astaraelweeps:

lesenfantsdabraham:

What’s the point of that post though ?

"Oh Jewish women, Muslim women and Christin women have to pray? Wow so sad.”

yes that is literally all we do

i do nothing but sternly stare into space and clutch my rosary

there is literally nothing else in my life

Only atheists can wear green.

religious women don’t go outside

the sun is fatal to us

atheists can fly

green is not a creationist color

Only atheist women can look up.

green is not a creationist color

As a Jewish woman, I can verify that we do, in fact, do nothing but stand in front of Shabbos candles 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even though Shabbos only comes once a week and it only takes like a minute to light some candles. We still have to stand in front of them in that exact position, with our fingers pressed to our lips, because if we move, God will damn us to Hell forever. Even though we don’t believe in eternal damnation.

When the candles go out, we are allowed to re-light them, but after that we have to resume our positions and stay in place. We sleep standing up in front of candles. We have to be spoon-fed our meals standing in front of those candles. We don’t even have relationships with friends, or family, or romantic partners, because our entire life is those candles, clearly.

(Source: piatchbiatch)

Mar 26 '14

markdoesstuff:

knitmeapony:

Oh lord.

oh my god

Mar 25 '14
witch-a:

So. When this lady beautifulkoriandr followed me back I was so fucking happy. I did a fanart of Kori with a shitty background. I love Kori a lot and it’s hard to draw this beauty ‘cause there are so many versions of her. I decided to do something related with her original design by George Pérez. And yeah. I’m sick and I don’t feel like finishing this. :(

witch-a:

So. When this lady beautifulkoriandr followed me back I was so fucking happy. I did a fanart of Kori with a shitty background. I love Kori a lot and it’s hard to draw this beauty ‘cause there are so many versions of her. I decided to do something related with her original design by George Pérez. And yeah. I’m sick and I don’t feel like finishing this. :(