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It's Only the End if You Want it to Be

Jun 15 '12

DC Love - Male/Female Friendships

Left to right: Vic and Kory, Donna and Dick, M’gann and Eddie, Cassie and Tim, Diana and Bruce, Cass and Tim, Bruce and Lois, Kory and Gar, Clark and Diana.

So, this is the photoset I said I was planning to do like a month ago - finally done. Sorry it took so long! (Those bottom pictures are misbehaving for some reason, but I got tired of trying to make it work so I’m just posting this as-is. If anyone more tech-savvy can tell me how to fix it, that would be welcome.)

I really wanted to make a photoset celebrating the male/female friendships of the DCU, because I feel that there really aren’t enough truly platonic friendships between men and women, not only in the DC universe but in fiction in general. And that seems like a pity, and what there is deserves more focus. I worked hard to only include duos who were really purely platonic, with no hint of romance and no blood relation (Tim/Cassie, Diana/Bruce and Diana/Clark all skirt the line when it comes to romance, but I included them because I really see them as friends and not lovers despite some hints of romance here and there, and that is how I think those relationships should be written. I may have also cheated a bit by using Tim and Cass, who are adopted siblings, but they were friends before Bruce adopted either of them so I think it counts), and what’s truly amazing - and more than a little disheartening - is just how hard it was to come up with duos like that. There seems to be a notion that any strong relationship between a man and a woman must be romantic, and I think that really sells the concept of friendship short.

There are many types of love in the world. Some love is romantic. Some love is familial. Those relationships are generally pretty easily understood. You say “This is my boyfriend”, or “This is my sister”, and it needs no further explanation of who this person is and what they mean to you.

But then there’s another kind of love. There’s the love when you adore someone with your heart and soul, trust them with your life and your deepest secrets, laugh and cry with them like you can with no one else, but there isn’t any reason for it. You’re not attracted to them. They’re not related to you by blood. And yet… you love them, deeply, no doubt about it.

And for some reason, this kind of love seems to be viewed as inherently suspect. But are you sure you’re not a couple? Yep, you’re sure. You’re not related somehow? Cousins, or something? Nope… you’re not.

Well then… what are you?

Well… you’re friends.

There’s something inherently belittling in to me in the phrase “Just friends”. Maybe it’s just my perception, but it seems to imply that friendship isn’t enough. That it must be a cover, a front, an excuse that’s hiding something else. Just friends? PLEASE. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. There must be something else going on… some legitimate form of relationship behind the screen here.

I hate that type of thinking. Because friendship is beautiful, it’s powerful, and it is life-changing. A true friend can touch your heart and soul in ways that no one else can, and that connection stands on its own. Some friendships do develop into something more, and that can be a wonderful thing. Certainly, any healthy romantic relationship should have a strong basis of friendship in addition to physical attraction. But some friendships don’t become romantic, and never will, but that doesn’t mean the connection between those two people is any less real or less incredible.

I’m a romantic at heart. I am. I absolutely go to mush over my favorite romantic couples, and I probably spend an embarrassing amount of time thinking about romantic love. But there are so many beautiful, incredible loving relationships in this world that don’t involve romance, and I’m a fan of all of those types of love. Romance is amazing, but no more so than friendship or family. Connections with the people you love are worth celebrating, in ALL of their forms.

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