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Also, now I’m wondering what post she ran into.
The fact that it was about Dick Grayson narrows it down to… oh, 90% of the posts on this blog.
I guess I don’t have a problem with her reading most of them, but what if it was, like… the one where I went through every person Dick could possibly have slept with in the year 1998.
That would be kind of awkward to be read by one’s mother.
She might think I was obsessed with a fictional character’s sex life, or something.
Which… I am not. Clearly. I just care about spreading accurate information about the canon, okay? Thereistotallynothingweirdaboutthisnothingtoseeheremoveon.
Then again, considering she couldn’t even get the character’s name correct, she can’t have read it that carefully, right?
Okay, guys, we need to talk about something.
And that something is the expression “manpain”.
I am absolutely, 100% freaking done with this expression. I want to punch this expression in the face.
And this is coming from a woman and a feminist.
I see people using this expression all the time, whenever a man (real or fictional) is upset, for any reason. “HAHA did you see his tears of manpain?” “Wow, excuse me if I’m not interested in listening to your manpain” “This storyline has so much manpain, I can’t even stand it”.
WHAT. IS. THAT.
I mean, I get it if the “manpain” you’re talking about is, like… not being able to score enough hot chicks, or something. I still think it’s an idiotic expression, but sure, then I can see that it makes sense to roll your eyes and talk about manpain.
But no. People use this expression whenever a man is upset about anything. Your fiancee cheated on you? “Manpain.” You’re on the outs with your best friend? “Manpain.” Your father just died? “Manpain.” If a guy shows any kind of angst or sorrow (or, god forbid, actually cries!), no matter how much the situation seems to warrant it, you can bet someone will be rolling their eyes and making cracks about “manpain”.
And it really freaking bothers me, because guys, that isn’t “manpain”. That is just PAIN.
Some people using this term are just idiots, probably. But most of them are not. What really bothers me is the underlying implication that some people seem to think talking this way is “feminist”. “Yeah, the ladies are awesome! I couldn’t care less about these dudes and their manpain!”
Well, yeah, the ladies are awesome. And you don’t have to be interested in dudes (real or fictional) if you don’t want to be. But can you honestly not see what a problematic, sexist stereotype it is when men are stigmatized for showing ‘traditionally feminine’ emotions such as pain or sadness? You aren’t fighting against sexism when you enforce gender stereotypes like that. You’re perpetuating it.
Expecting men to always be stoic and emotionless is a sexist stereotype. Considering pain and sadness to be “sissy” emotions suitable only for women and children is a sexist stereotype. Jeering at men who actually defy these stereotypes by showing “manpain” is just perpetuating this sexism.
"Manpain" is exactly the same as "womanpain". Would you find it funny or laughable if a woman was upset in a similar situation? No? Then chances are you shouldn’t be making cracks about "manpain". Because if you think the idea that a man’s pain is somehow less real or makes him less of a man is not one that is causing very real, very troubling problems in our society, then you are wrong.
"Manpain" is the fact that male abuse victims are three times more likely to not report what happened to the authorities.
"Manpain" is the fact that there are still people who refuse to take the plight of these victims seriously, even though 40% of abuse victims are male.
"Manpain" is the fact that people still think that men cannot be raped.
Why do you think no one is taking this seriously? Because our society has turned men expressing pain into something laughable and ridiculous. Something that emasculates them. Male pain is not something to be taken seriously, it is “manpain” to be laughed at.
And honestly? As a woman and a feminist, that makes me sick.
So seriously, guys. Stop with the “manpain” cracks. They are not cute, they are not funny, they are just perpetuating some reeeeally problematic gender stereotypes.
And I am so, ridiculously over that.